Timing

As I write this, I'm feeling kind of depressed. Yes, I'm glad to finally have a job, even if it's part time without benefits (except for a discount on purchases) and is so far away that I have to work almost an hour just to pay for my gas to and from work (or spend about 2 hours each way on a bus to get to work, still paying about the cost of a gallon of gas each bus ride). However, it's depressing to think that retail is all I can get (and not even a local retail job) after getting not just a bachelor's degree, but a master's degree as well.

Still, I'm trying to have a grateful attitude about the whole thing. I made it through the first two days at work, and I came home with very tired, aching legs. It's been a long time since I worked a job that required me to be on my feet basically the entire shift (as a waitress when I first started grad school), and even longer since I worked retail (as a second job after getting my bachelor's degree). I have to get used to being on my feet so much.

Plus, while the timing seems to be completely off to start a job, especially one that requires me to be on my feet so much, even though I don't exactly want to share this news right now but may as well since the cat is out of the bag, I'm pregnant. And today I am nauseous. I don't know if it's stress related or the first signs of morning sickness, but I am miserable. So, while today should be my third day on the job, I'm calling in sick, filling up my water bottle, emptying my garbage can, and going back to bed. I'm smelling I-don't-know-what that is making my stomach turn like crazy and I'm feeling beat up.

I'm about 8 weeks along and the due date is February 21st, 2011. I have my first OB appointment next week, but I've already had an ultrasound (at about 6 weeks) and saw the heartbeat. Other than some cramps early on in the pregnancy and low progesterone levels discovered early on (and for which I'm currently taking progesterone twice a day), things seem to be going well. If I can't handle this job and being pregnant at the same time, I will quit the job in a heartbeat. If I do, we may have some financial challenges as a result, but having a healthy pregnancy is my number one priority (and it's already a high-risk pregnancy too).

I went in to the fertility clinic I've been frequenting since January again today. Our insurance changed over as of July 1st, and the fertility clinic doesn't take the new insurance (even though I could've sworn I saw my doctor's name on the insurance company's website when I looked it up). So while I was going to have a second ultrasound today, it wouldn't be covered and would cost about $300. I passed. Too bad I didn't figure that out before dragging myself out of bed this morning and making the drive to Tacoma. Oh well!