I was starting to get worried about how emotional I've been lately. But then I read my weekly pregnancy updates and saw that it's normal to start feeling that way in the third trimester. I swear every little thing is making me cry... and sometimes I'm not even sure why I'm crying.
Also, I must face the reality that I can't depend on my mom coming to visit when the baby is born (something I started depending on a few years ago when I first asked her if she'd do that). I can't get my hopes up that she'll be able to make it, because odds are that she won't. When I first heard the news that she and my dad were planning on a mission, I figured that meant she wouldn't be coming, and I was crushed. But when I talked to her, she said she was still planning on coming, and I got my hopes up. But now that they've got official plans to leave for their mission about a month before the baby is due, I am again faced with the reality that it just doesn't appear likely. And that crushed me all over again.
I thought about my 4 sisters who have had babies within the past couple years, and my other siblings with young kids of their own to take care of. I wondered where and how I'd get support, longing to get some from family I know and trust. I emailed my oldest sister today, and in an answer to my prayers, she responded almost immediately with a very enthusiastic yes that she'd come to help out. I know she may only be here for a few days, but I miss my family terribly and don't know when I'll see any of them again. And that sucks. It hurts.
I also miss my friends. Even some of my local friends are so busy with their own families and lives that we rarely see each other. I know it's just going to get harder to coordinate things when the baby arrives, and that saddens me.
So, I may want a couple days to spend with just my husband and baby when she first comes, although I may instead already have fifty million parenting questions I want to ask the experts that are in my life and long for support. For my friends and family near and far, I invite you to come spend some time with me and the baby when she comes, if you can. If you're busy with your own family, I totally understand. But know that I love and miss you and would love to see you!