Friday, September 19, 2008


Because of everything that has been going on and will be going on, I have had to use my "vacation" time for anything and everything other than a vacation. I'm trying desperately to help my husband realize how important some things are for me so that he doesn't just brush them off like he has been doing. I need a vacation! I need a day off! I need a day I don't have to play hostess, work, clean, cook, shop, etc.

I tried to talk him into at least getting a hotel room in or near Bellevue when I had a Saturday off (the same day as his grandmother's memorial service), because since Sunday is the only common day we have off work, I didn't know when else we'd get the chance. He turned that down. I tell him I want a puppy because I want a pet that requires a little more maintenance so I can actually HAVE something to do and something to interact with during the lonely day hours when he's not around. It's going to get even more tough when he starts school again on Monday. At least his work is letting him go back to school, even if just for this quarter. But he wants cats and that is that so there is no discussion to be had about a dog.

I had scheduled a doctor's appointment for Thursday way back when- I HAD Thursdays off at that point in time, but I had to schedule the appointment out months in advance because that was all that was available. And now that I work on Thursdays, I wouldn't be able to go to that appointment unless I took time off work. This is time I don't have (since I have to save the time I do have and time I will earn between now and the end of October to go to Arizona for my sister's wedding). So, in a desperate plea for help, I posted my request to switch someone shifts. I begged someone to let me work for them on Monday so I could go on Thursday, but I got no responses. I had to call and cancel the appointment today. I won't be able to get in to see the doctor until sometime in December. They weren't quite sure when that would be, since she hasn't posted her December schedule yet, but the only other doctor I could've seen only had openings in late December when I was scheduled to work, so I will have to wait. This is a doctor I should've seen over a year ago. So frustrating!

Stress is starting to pile up again, and I can feel the difference. I'm not sleeping well, I'm coughing more, and I'm prone to the stress-eating I hate. Ugh. I'm still walking on my lunch breaks (but I'll have to go to the gym on my lunch break tomorrow instead of walking), but I'm also craving that sweet chocolate comfort food, and that's not good. I really have a problem saying no to chocolate when I know it is around and in an edible form.

I'm still looking for a job. I'm losing hope in this economy. At least I'll get extra money next month in this job!


Erin said...

Grrr! I'm feelin' for you, Debra!

Mrs.Flabby and Unfabulous said...

We are thinking of you Debra. So sorry to hear things are so rough for you. Let me know if I can help in any way.
love you

Debra said...

thanks to you both! sometimes things are just frustrating, ya know?