Yesterday was an unusual and event-filled day. It started out with me calling in to work, as I have been doing basically this whole month because my digestive tract just isn't cooperating and/or getting any better. I had a couple unexpected but welcome guests from church, one being my friend Stacy. Stacy volunteered to run some errands with me and even treat me to lunch.
We ate some delicious soup and sandwiches at Panera, which I've wanted to check out since moving here. And we each spent way more money at the grocery store than either of us was planning. I picked up some acidophilus capsules, which was recommended to me by my doctor.
Then I talked to my supervisor to give him an update. I wanted to let him and the company know that I'm not just flaking out on them but really am sick. The problem is that I don't feel sick enough that I shouldn't work at all. I just feel too sick to do my specific job. It would be quite inappropriate for me to put someone on hold to go to the bathroom 2-4 times during my shift. And since I spend all day at work on the phone, that's a problem. I wanted to double-check with him about putting people on hold, because a part of me was hoping he'd say it would be okay for me to do that if needed. But it's not. So I'm still off work for the time being.
I told him that I'm typically feeling okay around noon until evening. I asked if I might be able to pick up some hours during that time. He said he would email his supervisor today and get back to me on that. So hopefully I'll hear something from him soon. However, when I got home from running errands, I wasn't feeling okay during that time frame. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but I do need to let him know that maybe that's not the best idea (assuming the company I work for is okay with me working during that time anyway, that is).
I got my referral letter to a GI specialist yesterday, so I called to set up an appointment. After getting a busy signal twice and then being put on hold for several minutes, I was told the first available appointment is in May. So I scheduled it, but I'm betting (hoping) that I'll feel better by then and may very well just cancel the appointment. Looks like it's up to my body and the acidophilus to get me back on track. And maybe I won't ever know what's wrong.
In other news, Joe had a friend who would often make snide remarks to emails Joe would send him. He'd tell Joe that the jokes weren't funny and would be a douche about the way he said it too. And he'd send his thoughts to everyone Joe sent the email to, which often included me or was just me. Now, Joe is much better at controlling his temper than I am. He would just ignore these snarky comments. I would read them and then delete them in disgust. But on Tuesday, this person sent an email that really bothered me. I had difficulty sleeping Tuesday night as I thought about all the different ways I could and wanted to respond. I kept thinking, "I doubt Joe will say anything, but I know this bothers him. It hurts. And it hurts me to see someone treat him this way." I had talked with Joe about the comments his friend had made, and so I knew that I wasn't the only one who had taken things that way.
So I decided to email that friend yesterday. I requested that if he planned on continuing to talk to Joe in that unnecessary and rude way to please leave me out of the email. He responded with a rude, condescending comment to me. I responded as nicely as I felt I could be while being firm in my intentions. I was met with a criticism about my character, and so I called him out on his passive-aggressive, condescending, immature, belittling behavior and said I was done with the conversation.
Well, he didn't want it to be over, so he shot back another comment that equated to I-know-you-are-but-what-am-I and said in so many words that I should talk to Joe before giving what I interpret to be Joe's opinion. His defense was that he has always treated Joe like that. First of all, I didn't write to him about anyone's perception other than my own. But secondly, I DID talk to Joe before I emailed him. So I again reiterated what my request was and stated it was based on my observation of his tone.
I had let Joe know about the interaction by that time by forwarding him the email chain. His friend decided to bring Joe into this chain after my last response, and there was some back and forth between the two of them while the women from church were over that basically led to Joe's friend ending their friendship after saying Joe hadn't been a friend to him for years.
I feel so bad that Joe had to go through this. It reminded me of when my relationship with my once-best-friend ended. Even though the friendship had run it's course and neither of us were getting out of the relationship what we thought we should, it was hard. So I am sure that Joe is having a tough time with this. He talked with a co-worker about it yesterday to get an outsider's perspective, and his coworker was very upset about the exchange, saying his friend was being rude to both Joe and to me. So Joe and I feel confident that we were honest and as objective as we could be about things.
I used to counsel people who were attending an online school. One of the things the company required us to discuss with new students was to be careful of their tone in emails/posts. You may not mean something, but sometimes because the way you say it, your message comes across differently than you'd intended. I was glad to hear that Joe's friend did not mean offense with his response (as he said he didn't), and I told him that. The lesson I learned through all this is not to hold something in if it bothers you. Either confront it or let it go. Otherwise, like a gaping wound, the infection will fester and cause far greater damage than it would have, had it been dealt with in the first place.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Happy Anniversary
Joe and I have been married for two years now. On one hand, it doesn't seem like it's been that long. But on the other hand, I have a hard time remembering life before Joe.
We're happy and things are going well for us. We love each other more and more every day and get closer and closer. We enjoy spending time together watching movies or TV shows, playing games, or doing whatever together, whether it's cooking or cleaning or talking or laughing or something else.
I love you, Joe. Thanks for sticking with me. I look forward to spending forever with you!
We're happy and things are going well for us. We love each other more and more every day and get closer and closer. We enjoy spending time together watching movies or TV shows, playing games, or doing whatever together, whether it's cooking or cleaning or talking or laughing or something else.
I love you, Joe. Thanks for sticking with me. I look forward to spending forever with you!
Friday, March 20, 2009
I can stop trying?
I have had a lot of time to fill, being off work so much this year. Well, in boredom, I stumbled upon the Game Show Network. I have watched some episodes of shows like Pyramid, The Weakest Link, Family Feud, and some I'd never heard of before like Lingo and Chain Reaction. It sounds like I'm watching tons of TV, but I'm really trying not to.
Anyway, I was watching an episode of Family Feud last week, and a topic on there really bothered me. It went something like this: "Name something a woman doesn't have to do anymore after she gets married."
I was thinking of things like pretending to be interested in what someone is saying on a bad date, having DTR (defining the relationship) talks, going to a friend's wedding solo, spending weekend nights alone in front of the TV with Ben & Jerry's feeling sorry for yourself, flirting in a desperate attempt for some attention/affection, etc.
But the answers were much different. They were things like: cook, clean, wear makeup, work, exercise, etc. What??? Maybe I'm wrong, but now instead of worrying about myself, I have to worry about what he's going to eat too. I don't eat out every meal, or even half the time, so I'm cooking just as much, if not more, than I was when I was single. And cleaning? Are you kidding me? Instead of doing my own laundry, now I'm doing laundry for two. And instead of just having to clean up after myself, now I have to clean up after two. Wearing makeup? Yeah, I was never that big into it, except when going out somewhere nice. Otherwise, I'd just throw a little bit on to try to even out my skin tones or something. So there's no change there. Work? Yeah, because all men do is take care of the women of the world who sit around at home or volunteer. You don't think stay-at-home moms are working??? My mom worked SO hard with us! And when you're chasing kids around, driving them to various appointments, cleaning, cooking, etc, don't you think that's a form of exercise?
Anyway, the feminist in me was very upset about the sexist and untrue stereotypical answers. I started to think about the things men stop doing after they get married. Here's my top ten: (Disclaimer: this is in jest more than serious)
1. Cooking
2. Cleaning
3. Being discreet about nose picking, farting, and other bodily fuctions that are less than appealing
4. Planning things
5. Remembering important dates of friends and family members
6. Grocery shopping (if he ever did that in the first place)
7. Buying toiletries and other necessities
8. Going on dates
9. Pretending not to be selfish in physical/sexual relations
10. Taking proper care of hygiene
What would make your list for men and women?
Anyway, I was watching an episode of Family Feud last week, and a topic on there really bothered me. It went something like this: "Name something a woman doesn't have to do anymore after she gets married."
I was thinking of things like pretending to be interested in what someone is saying on a bad date, having DTR (defining the relationship) talks, going to a friend's wedding solo, spending weekend nights alone in front of the TV with Ben & Jerry's feeling sorry for yourself, flirting in a desperate attempt for some attention/affection, etc.
But the answers were much different. They were things like: cook, clean, wear makeup, work, exercise, etc. What??? Maybe I'm wrong, but now instead of worrying about myself, I have to worry about what he's going to eat too. I don't eat out every meal, or even half the time, so I'm cooking just as much, if not more, than I was when I was single. And cleaning? Are you kidding me? Instead of doing my own laundry, now I'm doing laundry for two. And instead of just having to clean up after myself, now I have to clean up after two. Wearing makeup? Yeah, I was never that big into it, except when going out somewhere nice. Otherwise, I'd just throw a little bit on to try to even out my skin tones or something. So there's no change there. Work? Yeah, because all men do is take care of the women of the world who sit around at home or volunteer. You don't think stay-at-home moms are working??? My mom worked SO hard with us! And when you're chasing kids around, driving them to various appointments, cleaning, cooking, etc, don't you think that's a form of exercise?
Anyway, the feminist in me was very upset about the sexist and untrue stereotypical answers. I started to think about the things men stop doing after they get married. Here's my top ten: (Disclaimer: this is in jest more than serious)
1. Cooking
2. Cleaning
3. Being discreet about nose picking, farting, and other bodily fuctions that are less than appealing
4. Planning things
5. Remembering important dates of friends and family members
6. Grocery shopping (if he ever did that in the first place)
7. Buying toiletries and other necessities
8. Going on dates
9. Pretending not to be selfish in physical/sexual relations
10. Taking proper care of hygiene
What would make your list for men and women?
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Salmonella?
I went to the doctor's office yesterday after being sick about 2 weeks. I had to get a note for work, but I also wanted to figure out what's wrong. It seems like it's been one thing after another all of 2009, with a few days respite in between.
I have to collect and turn in a stool sample (I'm so grossed out just thinking about doing that) and get my blood drawn today. They're going to run a bunch of tests. Apparently there was an e. coli outbreak in my city sometime in the not-too-distant-past that I just heard about Sunday. And so I'm paranoid about it being that. But with all the salmonella news, my doctor wants to rule that out as well. Or it could just be some other kind of bacterial infection. Whee!
So the first step to getting better is finding out what's wrong. My doctor explained that if I have one thing and take antibiotics, it might make it worse. So they're trying to figure out if they can identify what it is before recommending a course of treatment.
I have worked ONE day so far in March. I got a doctor's note with a tentative return date of the 23rd. I checked my work email yesterday and noticed that I have to work an extra 10 hours the month of March as well. So when I get back into the swing of things, I guess I'm really getting back into the swing of things (whenever that might be)!
I have to collect and turn in a stool sample (I'm so grossed out just thinking about doing that) and get my blood drawn today. They're going to run a bunch of tests. Apparently there was an e. coli outbreak in my city sometime in the not-too-distant-past that I just heard about Sunday. And so I'm paranoid about it being that. But with all the salmonella news, my doctor wants to rule that out as well. Or it could just be some other kind of bacterial infection. Whee!
So the first step to getting better is finding out what's wrong. My doctor explained that if I have one thing and take antibiotics, it might make it worse. So they're trying to figure out if they can identify what it is before recommending a course of treatment.
I have worked ONE day so far in March. I got a doctor's note with a tentative return date of the 23rd. I checked my work email yesterday and noticed that I have to work an extra 10 hours the month of March as well. So when I get back into the swing of things, I guess I'm really getting back into the swing of things (whenever that might be)!
Thursday, March 12, 2009
What should I get...?
I have been thinking quite a bit for about a month, give or take, about what I should ask for from my husband for my birthday. He was SPOILED beyond belief on his birthday, so I expect the same in turn. But when I think about some big items I want, I can't make up my mind. So I was hoping maybe you could help me with this decision.
One thing I really want is a massage. I've already told him that. I've only had one professional massage ever. But I wouldn't mind a massage from his cousin who is in massage therapy school over something professional (cheaper too!).
I broke my laptop a while back. I miss it dearly. I have been thinking about getting another one, or maybe a smaller notebook that would feel more portable. I originally got my laptop with the main purpose being for writing. I ended up using it for a lot more than that. It wasn't too expensive, and I don't think I need one that costs a whole lot since I have a desktop. But it's nice to have that portability.
Or I was thinking that a massage chair might be nice. Or maybe just a massage chair pad (that'd be cheaper).
Or a trip to Arizona before it's too hot there. That'd be nice for both of us, but I don't know if he can get time off work. Plus it would be pricey. Or I could go over a weekend while he's at drill in April.
Or an elliptical machine or a treadmill. I'd prefer an elliptical machine because I have bad knees, but I know he likes treadmills more (and I've heard they work your body better), so I'd be willing to get something like that as a compromise.
Or a punching bag. I've wanted one of those for a long time. I don't know where we could hang it, so we'd have to get a stand or one that goes ground-up versus a hanging punching bag. I want one that is at least fairly resistant and fairly heavy versus a hand bag (I think that's what they're called).
Or maybe a spa day and overnight in a nearby hotel. Maybe we could do a mini Portland vacation.
Or maybe a new stereo for my car. That is long overdue.
I let him buy himself a car stereo. He got a good deal, but it was still fairly pricey because of the installation costs. Then we took an overnight in a hotel in Bellevue and went to a nice dinner. And I got him a book and video game also, I think.
Decisions, decisions. At least I have time to make up my mind.
One thing I really want is a massage. I've already told him that. I've only had one professional massage ever. But I wouldn't mind a massage from his cousin who is in massage therapy school over something professional (cheaper too!).
I broke my laptop a while back. I miss it dearly. I have been thinking about getting another one, or maybe a smaller notebook that would feel more portable. I originally got my laptop with the main purpose being for writing. I ended up using it for a lot more than that. It wasn't too expensive, and I don't think I need one that costs a whole lot since I have a desktop. But it's nice to have that portability.
Or I was thinking that a massage chair might be nice. Or maybe just a massage chair pad (that'd be cheaper).
Or a trip to Arizona before it's too hot there. That'd be nice for both of us, but I don't know if he can get time off work. Plus it would be pricey. Or I could go over a weekend while he's at drill in April.
Or an elliptical machine or a treadmill. I'd prefer an elliptical machine because I have bad knees, but I know he likes treadmills more (and I've heard they work your body better), so I'd be willing to get something like that as a compromise.
Or a punching bag. I've wanted one of those for a long time. I don't know where we could hang it, so we'd have to get a stand or one that goes ground-up versus a hanging punching bag. I want one that is at least fairly resistant and fairly heavy versus a hand bag (I think that's what they're called).
Or maybe a spa day and overnight in a nearby hotel. Maybe we could do a mini Portland vacation.
Or maybe a new stereo for my car. That is long overdue.
I let him buy himself a car stereo. He got a good deal, but it was still fairly pricey because of the installation costs. Then we took an overnight in a hotel in Bellevue and went to a nice dinner. And I got him a book and video game also, I think.
Decisions, decisions. At least I have time to make up my mind.
I feel like The Biggest Loser
I've never watched the show The Biggest Loser before this season. What drew me to it? I honestly don't know. Perhaps it was this season's theme of "couples" that drew me in. Most "couples" aren't actual couples but relations. Still, it was nice seeing the husband-and-wife team (they were the first kicked off) and the future-husband-and-wife team (they were the second kicked off) on the show. It gave me hope. I don't look at my husband as "fat" or anything, and he is in pretty good physical condition (thanks to his job and the army). But let's be honest... we could BOTH stand to use a few lbs or more (much more in my case). Yet I find it hard to do when around him. It's not that he purposely sabotages me or anything, but we both love junk food... he's a bigger salt guy and I'm a bigger sweet gal, but we both have more than our share of both.
So I watch these people who started out about my same weight (or close enough, anyway), and they're losing weight and I'm still thinking, 'this person has a way to go still' and they weigh less than me. Yes, I have a way to go myself.
And this week's episode really hit home to me for some reason. There was one team, clearly superior to the other and overly cocky. I was rooting for the other team kind of secretly, because I like rooting for the underdog. And the cocky team won. They won a challenge and a reward, and they still ended up winning after being gluttonous for 24 hours during that week. Then the always-losing team had to vote someone off. Last time they had to vote someone off, they sent their strongest player home. Dumb move. Dumb, dumb move. This week, they sent another very strong player home. Dumb move. But why? Well, because 3 of the team members had been on a team since the beginning, and they refuse to vote against each other. One is a mother-daughter duo, so of course they aren't going to vote for either of them, but the third person is a man whose lack of weight-loss has resulted in his team being up for elimination TWICE... he is CLEARLY the weakest player there... yet he is still there. He should've been sent home when the teams were re-formed.
But that's not what hit home... the thing that hit home to me was the fact that the person who was sent home had worked her BUTT off that week because she was going head-to-head against the strongest member of the other team, and she was worried about losing to him. She did. But she didn't just lose to him. She GAINED weight. In that week of her eating healthy and working out hours each day, she gained 2 pounds.
Her team and trainer were clearly shocked when she was weighed. She was devastated. And then the explanation the trainer gave was that she was very stressed that week. Stress.
Knowing how stressed I've been and how sick I've been and how irregular my periods have been and how my mental health has suffered and how my motivation is low and my cravings for comfort food are high and how sore my muscles have been and how messed up my sleep has been was not enough for me. SEEING how stress effected someone else who WAS not sick and DID not have some of the other issues I have right now, however, was enough. It hit home. Stress can take its toll.
Yes, I've KNOWN stress was probably a major cause for some of my ailments, if not all of them. And I've HEARD that thrown out as an explanation by doctors, friends, family, etc. And I've read articles and articles and lots of information about how to manage stress, but I just can't seem to find the real answer for me.
I mean, if your job is super stressful, maybe it's time to find a new job. But when that job hunt lasts for months and months and ends up turning into 2+ years of looking for really suitable employment-- something that REALLY matches your personality and skill set, THAT's even MORE stress.
I made a list a couple months ago of my stressors. Then I looked at what I could control and what I couldn't control. I've been trying not to stress about those things outside my control and focus on those things that I do have control over. But "don't stress" is easier said than done, and looking for a job is just an example of me working to change things within my control that may have added to my stress levels.
Now instead of skipping just about every other period, I've lately been skipping two in a row. Now instead of feeling sick one or two days a month, I'm feeling sick all but a handful of days each month in one way or another. I've had 3 colds, each lasting several days or more, in the past 2 months. I've also been sick to my stomach, had migraines, digestive problems, and other illnesses.
So, what I'm doing isn't working. And I've learned that eating well and exercising may help to an extent, but that's not going to solve my problem either.
I think the next season The Biggest Loser starts, I'm going to start with it and go on their website and try to follow along. I thought about enlisting my husband or a sibling or friend as support. But if they aren't there, at least I won't feel like I'm doing it alone. My "couple" will be me and the Internet. But in the meantime, I'm not giving up!
So I watch these people who started out about my same weight (or close enough, anyway), and they're losing weight and I'm still thinking, 'this person has a way to go still' and they weigh less than me. Yes, I have a way to go myself.
And this week's episode really hit home to me for some reason. There was one team, clearly superior to the other and overly cocky. I was rooting for the other team kind of secretly, because I like rooting for the underdog. And the cocky team won. They won a challenge and a reward, and they still ended up winning after being gluttonous for 24 hours during that week. Then the always-losing team had to vote someone off. Last time they had to vote someone off, they sent their strongest player home. Dumb move. Dumb, dumb move. This week, they sent another very strong player home. Dumb move. But why? Well, because 3 of the team members had been on a team since the beginning, and they refuse to vote against each other. One is a mother-daughter duo, so of course they aren't going to vote for either of them, but the third person is a man whose lack of weight-loss has resulted in his team being up for elimination TWICE... he is CLEARLY the weakest player there... yet he is still there. He should've been sent home when the teams were re-formed.
But that's not what hit home... the thing that hit home to me was the fact that the person who was sent home had worked her BUTT off that week because she was going head-to-head against the strongest member of the other team, and she was worried about losing to him. She did. But she didn't just lose to him. She GAINED weight. In that week of her eating healthy and working out hours each day, she gained 2 pounds.
Her team and trainer were clearly shocked when she was weighed. She was devastated. And then the explanation the trainer gave was that she was very stressed that week. Stress.
Knowing how stressed I've been and how sick I've been and how irregular my periods have been and how my mental health has suffered and how my motivation is low and my cravings for comfort food are high and how sore my muscles have been and how messed up my sleep has been was not enough for me. SEEING how stress effected someone else who WAS not sick and DID not have some of the other issues I have right now, however, was enough. It hit home. Stress can take its toll.
Yes, I've KNOWN stress was probably a major cause for some of my ailments, if not all of them. And I've HEARD that thrown out as an explanation by doctors, friends, family, etc. And I've read articles and articles and lots of information about how to manage stress, but I just can't seem to find the real answer for me.
I mean, if your job is super stressful, maybe it's time to find a new job. But when that job hunt lasts for months and months and ends up turning into 2+ years of looking for really suitable employment-- something that REALLY matches your personality and skill set, THAT's even MORE stress.
I made a list a couple months ago of my stressors. Then I looked at what I could control and what I couldn't control. I've been trying not to stress about those things outside my control and focus on those things that I do have control over. But "don't stress" is easier said than done, and looking for a job is just an example of me working to change things within my control that may have added to my stress levels.
Now instead of skipping just about every other period, I've lately been skipping two in a row. Now instead of feeling sick one or two days a month, I'm feeling sick all but a handful of days each month in one way or another. I've had 3 colds, each lasting several days or more, in the past 2 months. I've also been sick to my stomach, had migraines, digestive problems, and other illnesses.
So, what I'm doing isn't working. And I've learned that eating well and exercising may help to an extent, but that's not going to solve my problem either.
I think the next season The Biggest Loser starts, I'm going to start with it and go on their website and try to follow along. I thought about enlisting my husband or a sibling or friend as support. But if they aren't there, at least I won't feel like I'm doing it alone. My "couple" will be me and the Internet. But in the meantime, I'm not giving up!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
A Novel Idea
I was in bed but wide awake the other night, thinking about all the stories I could tell about working with adults with serious mental illnesses. They were kind of like my children in many ways. They needed support and guidance, and I was paid to help them in small but often memorable ways. Sometimes I felt like a glorified taxi driver, but sometimes I was able to see them accomplish something big or help them get through a tough time, and that job was very rewarding for me.
I started thinking about that job when I was comparing it to my current job. Yes, I still work to help people improve their lives. But a big difference is that I don't get to see the results of my individual work the way I did in that and some other positions I've held. Seeing results is important to me. Too important for my soul to go without. That's why this job I have right now is becoming so difficult for me.
Anyway, I thought that maybe I could write a novel (changing personal information for privacy and protection sake) about some of my experiences with adults with mental illnesses. I think it would help people get a little insight as to what it can look like for someone to have schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, major depressive disorder, and other serious mental illnesses. I know having that job and experiencing the things I did opened my eyes up in ways I never could have imagined.
Sometimes I can be overly critical of myself and others. But I do know that I am here on this earth with talents and abilities given to me to help bless me and others. I'm grateful for the things, material and intangible, that I have been given and the compassion I gain with understanding. I think a lot of the judgment we place on each other comes from a lack of understanding, and so that job was a great blessing in my life.
If I wrote a book like that, would the subject interest you enough to read it? You can be honest.
I started thinking about that job when I was comparing it to my current job. Yes, I still work to help people improve their lives. But a big difference is that I don't get to see the results of my individual work the way I did in that and some other positions I've held. Seeing results is important to me. Too important for my soul to go without. That's why this job I have right now is becoming so difficult for me.
Anyway, I thought that maybe I could write a novel (changing personal information for privacy and protection sake) about some of my experiences with adults with mental illnesses. I think it would help people get a little insight as to what it can look like for someone to have schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, major depressive disorder, and other serious mental illnesses. I know having that job and experiencing the things I did opened my eyes up in ways I never could have imagined.
Sometimes I can be overly critical of myself and others. But I do know that I am here on this earth with talents and abilities given to me to help bless me and others. I'm grateful for the things, material and intangible, that I have been given and the compassion I gain with understanding. I think a lot of the judgment we place on each other comes from a lack of understanding, and so that job was a great blessing in my life.
If I wrote a book like that, would the subject interest you enough to read it? You can be honest.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Because Stacy Tagged Me
Crazy 8's
8 Favorite TV Shows
1. House
2. 24
3. Biggest Loser
4. Lost
5. How I Met Your Mother
6. The Reaper
7. Supernatural
8. Rules of Engagement
8 Things I Did Yesterday
1. Made dinner with Joe
2. Watched episodes from Lost season 1 (yes, I'm just now getting into that show)
3. Washed dishes
4. Washed laundry
5. Emptied the kitten's litter box
6. Helped Joe hang curtains covering our laundry room
7. Checked my email
8. Checked Facebook
8 Things I Look Forward To
1. My birthday. 364 days a year I look forward to it.
2. Spring
3. Spending time with my family
4. Having a baby some day
5. Getting my new dining room table & entertainment center
6. Getting a new couch for the family room
7. Finding a different job
8. Reading my friends' blogs
8 Favorite Restaurants
1. The Cheesecake Factory
2. Claim Jumpers
3. Red Robin
4. Chili's
5. RigaTony's
6. Oregano's
7. Buca di Beppo's
8. Carrabba's/Maggiano's (tie)
8 Things I Wish For
1. A new job
2. Financial stability
3. Motivation
4. Inspiration
5. Kids
6. Happiness
7. Good friends to have nights out/in with
8. Success for myself, my family and my friends
8 People I Tag
1. Emily
2. Amber (do it on Facebook as a note) :)
3. Karri
4. Heather
5. Scott
6. Crystal
7. Nicole
8. Becky
8 Favorite TV Shows
1. House
2. 24
3. Biggest Loser
4. Lost
5. How I Met Your Mother
6. The Reaper
7. Supernatural
8. Rules of Engagement
8 Things I Did Yesterday
1. Made dinner with Joe
2. Watched episodes from Lost season 1 (yes, I'm just now getting into that show)
3. Washed dishes
4. Washed laundry
5. Emptied the kitten's litter box
6. Helped Joe hang curtains covering our laundry room
7. Checked my email
8. Checked Facebook
8 Things I Look Forward To
1. My birthday. 364 days a year I look forward to it.
2. Spring
3. Spending time with my family
4. Having a baby some day
5. Getting my new dining room table & entertainment center
6. Getting a new couch for the family room
7. Finding a different job
8. Reading my friends' blogs
8 Favorite Restaurants
1. The Cheesecake Factory
2. Claim Jumpers
3. Red Robin
4. Chili's
5. RigaTony's
6. Oregano's
7. Buca di Beppo's
8. Carrabba's/Maggiano's (tie)
8 Things I Wish For
1. A new job
2. Financial stability
3. Motivation
4. Inspiration
5. Kids
6. Happiness
7. Good friends to have nights out/in with
8. Success for myself, my family and my friends
8 People I Tag
1. Emily
2. Amber (do it on Facebook as a note) :)
3. Karri
4. Heather
5. Scott
6. Crystal
7. Nicole
8. Becky
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
I spoke too soon.
I'm sick again. Started not feeling well on Monday night and it got worse yesterday. I feel a bit better today but not much.
Joe is very supportive and understanding when I'm sick, which is a good thing. It's also a good thing that we can find ways to live off of less income when my pay is decreased like it has been the last couple months because of me being sick.
Someone left a comment on an old post of mine sharing her experiences with Zyrtec and side effects she's had with it-- it almost sounds like I could've written it (except she works out 6 days a week, lol). So I'm thinking I'll stop taking that. I was already thinking of doing that because it definitely isn't helping with allergy symptoms as far as I can tell.
Joe is very supportive and understanding when I'm sick, which is a good thing. It's also a good thing that we can find ways to live off of less income when my pay is decreased like it has been the last couple months because of me being sick.
Someone left a comment on an old post of mine sharing her experiences with Zyrtec and side effects she's had with it-- it almost sounds like I could've written it (except she works out 6 days a week, lol). So I'm thinking I'll stop taking that. I was already thinking of doing that because it definitely isn't helping with allergy symptoms as far as I can tell.
Monday, February 23, 2009
FINALLY!
Last week was a very long week. I had been sick up until about Monday, just in time to pick up some overtime/holiday pay.
I normally have Mondays off, but because I've missed about 3 weeks off work since late January from being sick and for my mental health, I decided I needed some overtime to make up for lost wages.
So I volunteered to pick up a shift on President's Day. That was the holiday, right? I don't even know any more. Joe had to work too.
So I hung in there all week long, even though it was hard to, because I wanted to make sure I made that Monday sacrifice worth it. I worked 48 hours but because of the way I'm getting paid, it's like getting paid for 60 hours of work. Score!
By the time Saturday came around, I was feeling emotionally dead on my feet (or really on my butt, since I sit at a computer all day), but Saturday was a really good day at work. I talked to a lot of really motivated people, and I felt good about the work I did.
Sometimes I hated my job working with adults with serious mental illnesses, because it seemed like I was putting in all this hard work and there wasn't anything to show for it. Sometimes this job feels the same way. Saturday, it didn't.
Joe and I celebrated Valentine's Day together with a trip to The Cheesecake Factory. Then we went to a furniture outlet store nearby to look at tables for our dining room. I am embarrassed to have someone over for dinner and have them sit at my puny table, so it'll be a nice change when we eventually do have a table that seats more than 4 people, and comfortably at that. I do plan on inviting people over for dinner then (I'm already forming a mental list).
Friday was another doctor's appointment. It was just a follow-up appointment from my appointment 4 weeks ago to make sure I was doing better. Well, I am doing better, just not 100%. I think that the discrepancies between where I am and where I want to be can be explained, however. My doctor did recommend scheduling an appointment with my OBGYN, which I plan on doing (I actually planned on doing it on Friday, but I didn't get around to it).
And yesterday as I was slowly waking up for the day (I LOVE that!), I FINALLY felt really motivated to just eat healthier and exercise more. I don't know why, but I'm taking advantage of it while it lasts. I had oatmeal for breakfast yesterday instead of the frozen waffles and applesauce or pancakes and syrup I was originally thinking about having. And after church, Joe and I enjoyed some salmon and rice-- it was quite good.
So I'm hoping this is the start of something that lasts and is good for me physically and emotionally. Maybe after I lose some weight my body will respond and I can get pregnant. Maybe my periods will start becoming more normal and I won't have to stress about that so much either. Maybe that's a lot to ask for, but today I'm optimistic. Finally.
I normally have Mondays off, but because I've missed about 3 weeks off work since late January from being sick and for my mental health, I decided I needed some overtime to make up for lost wages.
So I volunteered to pick up a shift on President's Day. That was the holiday, right? I don't even know any more. Joe had to work too.
So I hung in there all week long, even though it was hard to, because I wanted to make sure I made that Monday sacrifice worth it. I worked 48 hours but because of the way I'm getting paid, it's like getting paid for 60 hours of work. Score!
By the time Saturday came around, I was feeling emotionally dead on my feet (or really on my butt, since I sit at a computer all day), but Saturday was a really good day at work. I talked to a lot of really motivated people, and I felt good about the work I did.
Sometimes I hated my job working with adults with serious mental illnesses, because it seemed like I was putting in all this hard work and there wasn't anything to show for it. Sometimes this job feels the same way. Saturday, it didn't.
Joe and I celebrated Valentine's Day together with a trip to The Cheesecake Factory. Then we went to a furniture outlet store nearby to look at tables for our dining room. I am embarrassed to have someone over for dinner and have them sit at my puny table, so it'll be a nice change when we eventually do have a table that seats more than 4 people, and comfortably at that. I do plan on inviting people over for dinner then (I'm already forming a mental list).
Friday was another doctor's appointment. It was just a follow-up appointment from my appointment 4 weeks ago to make sure I was doing better. Well, I am doing better, just not 100%. I think that the discrepancies between where I am and where I want to be can be explained, however. My doctor did recommend scheduling an appointment with my OBGYN, which I plan on doing (I actually planned on doing it on Friday, but I didn't get around to it).
And yesterday as I was slowly waking up for the day (I LOVE that!), I FINALLY felt really motivated to just eat healthier and exercise more. I don't know why, but I'm taking advantage of it while it lasts. I had oatmeal for breakfast yesterday instead of the frozen waffles and applesauce or pancakes and syrup I was originally thinking about having. And after church, Joe and I enjoyed some salmon and rice-- it was quite good.
So I'm hoping this is the start of something that lasts and is good for me physically and emotionally. Maybe after I lose some weight my body will respond and I can get pregnant. Maybe my periods will start becoming more normal and I won't have to stress about that so much either. Maybe that's a lot to ask for, but today I'm optimistic. Finally.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Germies
I thought about not writing, because I don't have much to write other than to say there's not much to write.
Joe and I were sick all weekend (and most of last week too), so our Valentine's Day was spent on the couch watching movies together. On Sunday we pulled out the hide-a-bed and lounged on that.
Yesterday, he got me some dark chocolate candies and flowers as a way to say happy Valentine's day even though it was late.
We both worked yesterday. Mondays are normally my day off, but I got 8 hours vacation pay (YAY!) plus I volunteered to work for time and a half (YAY!). In addition, I qualified to make extra money for the month of February, so I earned yesterday what I would have working more than 3 normal days otherwise. That helped me get through the day.
Still, without going to church and being sick, it kind of felt like yesterday should be Friday or Saturday.
It was hard to work today. I just have to get through this one day at a time.
I have a doctor's appointment on Friday (just a follow-up from my last appointment) and it looks like I'll be scheduling an appointment with an OBGYN to beg for tests to find out what's going on with my body (with hopefully something that explains better and can be treated better than PCOS).
I'm finally feeling (mostly) better as far as this stupid cold I caught goes, so that's a good start!
Joe and I were sick all weekend (and most of last week too), so our Valentine's Day was spent on the couch watching movies together. On Sunday we pulled out the hide-a-bed and lounged on that.
Yesterday, he got me some dark chocolate candies and flowers as a way to say happy Valentine's day even though it was late.
We both worked yesterday. Mondays are normally my day off, but I got 8 hours vacation pay (YAY!) plus I volunteered to work for time and a half (YAY!). In addition, I qualified to make extra money for the month of February, so I earned yesterday what I would have working more than 3 normal days otherwise. That helped me get through the day.
Still, without going to church and being sick, it kind of felt like yesterday should be Friday or Saturday.
It was hard to work today. I just have to get through this one day at a time.
I have a doctor's appointment on Friday (just a follow-up from my last appointment) and it looks like I'll be scheduling an appointment with an OBGYN to beg for tests to find out what's going on with my body (with hopefully something that explains better and can be treated better than PCOS).
I'm finally feeling (mostly) better as far as this stupid cold I caught goes, so that's a good start!
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow
I heard it doesn't snow much in Washington when I moved here. I heard it was something like once or twice a year, and it really wasn't a big deal when it was. I should've asked for a second opinion. That's what I get for trusting my husband!
Or maybe the last couple years have been really unusual. It's not like it snowed a whole lot last year, but I did have a couple scary/frustrating experiences driving in the snow. This year has definitely seemed odd. Not only snow that sticks and snow upon snow and black ice, but fog has come for days on end too. Weird. I blame the baby. You know, El Nino.
It's snowing now. I had no idea snow was in the forecast until I was taking my first fifteen minute break from working today and flipped on the news. It was snowing somewhere. I looked outside to see a snow-free lawn. It is snow-free no longer.
Time for some hot chocolate!
In other news, we had a couple windows replaced yesterday (I guess it was good it wasn't scheduled for today!). We even bought the installers some pizza. We're awesome. My idea. I'm awesome. Anyway, in addition to the windows, we had our french doors removed and a sliding door put in. Now we have the key to that door, so we can actually use it! Hooray!
We had to lock the cats into one of our bedrooms during the installation, so we moved their food, water, litter box, and toys into our guest room. We've decided to keep it set up that way. When the kittens were finally let out of the room last night and started wandering around downstairs, they didn't know what to do since they had no toys. Even today, when I went downstairs on my breaks, they would hang out around me for a while but then go back up to their bedroom. They are so spoiled! They're going to become such little hermits!
One of the windows replaced a broken window that was starting to get moldy and would hold condensation between the window panes. These are triple-pane windows with UV protection and energy savings, and GOSH it looks so much better than the do-it-yourself-job that preceeded it! The only problem now is our blinds don't fit anymore and there isn't as much of a window ledge for the cats to sit on (it was amusing watching Sandy's reaction as she tried to jump on the window ledge and didn't really have enough room to keep her feet firmly planted). So we've got to get some new blinds or curtains. Hooray for an excuse to go shopping!
But I think I'll wait until it's done snowing!
Or maybe the last couple years have been really unusual. It's not like it snowed a whole lot last year, but I did have a couple scary/frustrating experiences driving in the snow. This year has definitely seemed odd. Not only snow that sticks and snow upon snow and black ice, but fog has come for days on end too. Weird. I blame the baby. You know, El Nino.
It's snowing now. I had no idea snow was in the forecast until I was taking my first fifteen minute break from working today and flipped on the news. It was snowing somewhere. I looked outside to see a snow-free lawn. It is snow-free no longer.
Time for some hot chocolate!
In other news, we had a couple windows replaced yesterday (I guess it was good it wasn't scheduled for today!). We even bought the installers some pizza. We're awesome. My idea. I'm awesome. Anyway, in addition to the windows, we had our french doors removed and a sliding door put in. Now we have the key to that door, so we can actually use it! Hooray!
We had to lock the cats into one of our bedrooms during the installation, so we moved their food, water, litter box, and toys into our guest room. We've decided to keep it set up that way. When the kittens were finally let out of the room last night and started wandering around downstairs, they didn't know what to do since they had no toys. Even today, when I went downstairs on my breaks, they would hang out around me for a while but then go back up to their bedroom. They are so spoiled! They're going to become such little hermits!
One of the windows replaced a broken window that was starting to get moldy and would hold condensation between the window panes. These are triple-pane windows with UV protection and energy savings, and GOSH it looks so much better than the do-it-yourself-job that preceeded it! The only problem now is our blinds don't fit anymore and there isn't as much of a window ledge for the cats to sit on (it was amusing watching Sandy's reaction as she tried to jump on the window ledge and didn't really have enough room to keep her feet firmly planted). So we've got to get some new blinds or curtains. Hooray for an excuse to go shopping!
But I think I'll wait until it's done snowing!
Monday, February 2, 2009
RIP Compaq and my weekend
So, I am paranoid these days due to events that have happened in my neighborhood. Every time I hear a noise at night (or even during the day), I wonder if someone is stealing my mail or trying to break in to my house. And when my kittens knock things over, tackle each other, or otherwise make a ruckus, my imagination starts to run wild with ideas of what the noise could be coming from. Did someone somehow manage to get into my house without triggering the alarm and they're now coming to kill me? Is the alarm on?
I heard a noise coming from my living room the other day. I made a mental note of it and continued doing whatever I was doing in my family room. But then there was another noise, and I knew the kittens were up to something. I hurried to the other room to investigate the crash, and I saw that they had knocked over a vase of roses that was on the coffee table. Or I should say the black cat knocked it over. I'm pretty sure it was Ashley, because she ran from the room (and from me) as quickly as she could. I chased after her, and every time I got close, she ran again. Meanwhile, Sandy just chilled by the scene of the crime.
Today there was a similar noise. I saw one cat bolt up the stairs, and then I saw the other cat running into the room I was in from the other direction (through the dining room). I walked into my living room to find out what the commotion was all about, and I saw Sandy peeking her head between two rails on the staircase, trying not to be seen.
Those kittens crack me up! It's hard to stay mad when they are so funny! I guess kids are like that too. I don't know yet, but maybe one day I'll be able to know the feeling of frustration/anger followed quickly by amusement and humor because of something they do.
I talked with my supervisor very briefly today and said that I decided to go back to work tomorrow if that's okay. He said it is (even though I was originally approved for 2 weeks off without pay), and I caught up (sort of) on my work email. That took forever. I was multi-tasking on my laptop (I complete work on my desktop), and I finally turned my desktop off, chatting on Facebook and reading through my personal emails and RSS feeds.
Then came a noise outside. Right outside my house. I'm not expecting anyone for a while, so I was nervous and curious. I got up to go take a look out the window, and I tripped over a cord for my laptop, pulling the laptop down on the floor and breaking it. My screen now has a display that looks like broken, shattered glass. Lovely. I hope I can recover the data on the hard drive!
Looks like I just made my decision as to whether or not I'll be working on Presidents Day. If I want a new laptop, I have to!
In other news, my car had difficulty starting on Friday. I took it in to the shop for a 90,000 mile check (only 13,000+ miles late), and everything is fine now. Joe thinks it might've been a spark plug (they were all changed). I wasn't having problems before, and it's running quite smoothly now, so I hope that was all it was. The guy at the shop said I need 2 new tires and an allignment, although he recommended getting 4 new tires. Joy. If it's not one thing, it's another. Or it's more than one thing.
I'm still waiting to see if medically things improve. I will definitely be calling my OB-GYN if my period doesn't come in the next couple weeks. I want more tests, and I have to demand some answers!
I heard a noise coming from my living room the other day. I made a mental note of it and continued doing whatever I was doing in my family room. But then there was another noise, and I knew the kittens were up to something. I hurried to the other room to investigate the crash, and I saw that they had knocked over a vase of roses that was on the coffee table. Or I should say the black cat knocked it over. I'm pretty sure it was Ashley, because she ran from the room (and from me) as quickly as she could. I chased after her, and every time I got close, she ran again. Meanwhile, Sandy just chilled by the scene of the crime.
Today there was a similar noise. I saw one cat bolt up the stairs, and then I saw the other cat running into the room I was in from the other direction (through the dining room). I walked into my living room to find out what the commotion was all about, and I saw Sandy peeking her head between two rails on the staircase, trying not to be seen.
Those kittens crack me up! It's hard to stay mad when they are so funny! I guess kids are like that too. I don't know yet, but maybe one day I'll be able to know the feeling of frustration/anger followed quickly by amusement and humor because of something they do.
I talked with my supervisor very briefly today and said that I decided to go back to work tomorrow if that's okay. He said it is (even though I was originally approved for 2 weeks off without pay), and I caught up (sort of) on my work email. That took forever. I was multi-tasking on my laptop (I complete work on my desktop), and I finally turned my desktop off, chatting on Facebook and reading through my personal emails and RSS feeds.
Then came a noise outside. Right outside my house. I'm not expecting anyone for a while, so I was nervous and curious. I got up to go take a look out the window, and I tripped over a cord for my laptop, pulling the laptop down on the floor and breaking it. My screen now has a display that looks like broken, shattered glass. Lovely. I hope I can recover the data on the hard drive!
Looks like I just made my decision as to whether or not I'll be working on Presidents Day. If I want a new laptop, I have to!
In other news, my car had difficulty starting on Friday. I took it in to the shop for a 90,000 mile check (only 13,000+ miles late), and everything is fine now. Joe thinks it might've been a spark plug (they were all changed). I wasn't having problems before, and it's running quite smoothly now, so I hope that was all it was. The guy at the shop said I need 2 new tires and an allignment, although he recommended getting 4 new tires. Joy. If it's not one thing, it's another. Or it's more than one thing.
I'm still waiting to see if medically things improve. I will definitely be calling my OB-GYN if my period doesn't come in the next couple weeks. I want more tests, and I have to demand some answers!
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Granny Style
I'm kind of weird. I'm what I guess is called ambidextrous. I write with my right hand, but I do just about everything else with my left hand.
I had to teach myself how to eat with my right hand, because when there are 10 people crowded around a small table, you have to use your right hand. I still cut meat with my left hand, but that's not as big a deal.
Because all of my siblings are right-handed and because I write with my right hand, my dad was convinced I was not left-handed (even though that's how I often referred to myself). We didn't have a whole lot of money growing up. Going out to eat was saved for very special occasions, and likewise going to the movies or bowling or other kinds of activities that cost a deal of money for such a large brood.
When we had a day off school for a holiday, we did whatever my dad had in mind. He wouldn't often tell us about it beforehand. Instead, we'd just pile into the van and go wherever he took us.
When we'd go bowling, he was so determined that I was right-handed that he would not let me bowl with my left hand. Now, I'd try to throw the ball with my right hand, but it was an utter disaster. So I ended up bowling with the ball between my legs. Until I decided I was too old to keep bowling like that. One time, I threw the ball with my left hand in rebellion, against my father's demands. My mother stood up for me and my father, upset, stormed out of the bowling alley.
He walked the approximately 4 1/2 miles from the bowling alley to our house. And the rest of us stayed and bowled, but I felt horribly guilty for upsetting him. I wished I'd just bowled "granny style" instead of making him walk in the heat all the way home and ruining the day for us all.
To this day, I still feel frustrated when I bowl. I've learned that the balls are drilled for right-handed people, which puts left-handed bowlers at a disadvantage unless you bring your own ball. And I'm not anywhere near good enough to make up for that handicap. I guess that's part of the reason why I don't bowl much.
I had to teach myself how to eat with my right hand, because when there are 10 people crowded around a small table, you have to use your right hand. I still cut meat with my left hand, but that's not as big a deal.
Because all of my siblings are right-handed and because I write with my right hand, my dad was convinced I was not left-handed (even though that's how I often referred to myself). We didn't have a whole lot of money growing up. Going out to eat was saved for very special occasions, and likewise going to the movies or bowling or other kinds of activities that cost a deal of money for such a large brood.
When we had a day off school for a holiday, we did whatever my dad had in mind. He wouldn't often tell us about it beforehand. Instead, we'd just pile into the van and go wherever he took us.
When we'd go bowling, he was so determined that I was right-handed that he would not let me bowl with my left hand. Now, I'd try to throw the ball with my right hand, but it was an utter disaster. So I ended up bowling with the ball between my legs. Until I decided I was too old to keep bowling like that. One time, I threw the ball with my left hand in rebellion, against my father's demands. My mother stood up for me and my father, upset, stormed out of the bowling alley.
He walked the approximately 4 1/2 miles from the bowling alley to our house. And the rest of us stayed and bowled, but I felt horribly guilty for upsetting him. I wished I'd just bowled "granny style" instead of making him walk in the heat all the way home and ruining the day for us all.
To this day, I still feel frustrated when I bowl. I've learned that the balls are drilled for right-handed people, which puts left-handed bowlers at a disadvantage unless you bring your own ball. And I'm not anywhere near good enough to make up for that handicap. I guess that's part of the reason why I don't bowl much.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
My New Neighborhood
I have been thinking a lot lately about life in Arizona versus life in Washington. I grew up in the same house I lived in until moving out for college, and my parents are still there. We knew most of the surrounding neighbors, and part of that was because many of them have been there for years and years also.
But when I bought my house in Mesa, it was on a street with a lot of other families. In fact, one time I counted the little patio homes and duplexes on the street and figured that there were over 60 on that one street! I knew I was safe in that house, even though I lived alone. There was almost ALWAYS someone outside of their house, and that someone usually included my neighbors across the street.
One time I accidentally locked myself out of my house around 10 pm. I saw lights on in their house and went and knocked on their door to see if they had tools I could borrow to pull off my screen door to get inside. They turned off their lights and pretended not to be home when I first knocked, and I continued knocking for about 5 minutes or more until someone finally came to the door. Well, they helped me out but it was with great reluctance. They were nice enough, but it was barely more than a "hi" in passing that was exchanged between us the whole time I was living there. Their daughter lived next door to me, and I was lucky to get a "hi" back from her. My neighbors that lived on the other side of me didn't seem to like me after an incident shortly after I moved in when I had yard work done while the man who lived there was sleeping in the morning hours (not too early). So, basically, it wasn't a friendly street.
But I understand that Arizona tends to have higher attrition than some other places. Especially my new neighborhood. People have lived here for years. Several of our neighbors are original owners too. The house we purchased is old, and the original owners and/or their family lived here until selling it to us.
So maybe people in Arizona don't want to invest as much into getting to know their neighbors or building relationships with them, because they know or think their neighbors will move away. Or maybe it is just the area I bought a house in that is like that. Or maybe it was just my surrounding neighbors. Maybe they just thought I didn't fit in.
But when we moved into this house, we were welcomed by friendly neighbors all around us. We got a plate of cookies and some hand picked home grown flowers from one neighbor. We got phone numbers for our neighbors and even some recommendations regardling local services. We invited the 10 closest neighbors over for our housewarming party. Most of them came, and even one who didn't come brought us over a greeting card and gift card to welcome us. We live in a pretty cool neighborhood.
To say thanks to our neighbors and for fun, we gave mason jars full of a brownie mix to them for Christmas. We got a chance to sit and chat with a couple of them while delivering the jars. And for the new year, one of them gave us a jar of homemade raspberry jam.
We enjoy our house, and this neighborhood really makes this feel like home.
But when I bought my house in Mesa, it was on a street with a lot of other families. In fact, one time I counted the little patio homes and duplexes on the street and figured that there were over 60 on that one street! I knew I was safe in that house, even though I lived alone. There was almost ALWAYS someone outside of their house, and that someone usually included my neighbors across the street.
One time I accidentally locked myself out of my house around 10 pm. I saw lights on in their house and went and knocked on their door to see if they had tools I could borrow to pull off my screen door to get inside. They turned off their lights and pretended not to be home when I first knocked, and I continued knocking for about 5 minutes or more until someone finally came to the door. Well, they helped me out but it was with great reluctance. They were nice enough, but it was barely more than a "hi" in passing that was exchanged between us the whole time I was living there. Their daughter lived next door to me, and I was lucky to get a "hi" back from her. My neighbors that lived on the other side of me didn't seem to like me after an incident shortly after I moved in when I had yard work done while the man who lived there was sleeping in the morning hours (not too early). So, basically, it wasn't a friendly street.
But I understand that Arizona tends to have higher attrition than some other places. Especially my new neighborhood. People have lived here for years. Several of our neighbors are original owners too. The house we purchased is old, and the original owners and/or their family lived here until selling it to us.
So maybe people in Arizona don't want to invest as much into getting to know their neighbors or building relationships with them, because they know or think their neighbors will move away. Or maybe it is just the area I bought a house in that is like that. Or maybe it was just my surrounding neighbors. Maybe they just thought I didn't fit in.
But when we moved into this house, we were welcomed by friendly neighbors all around us. We got a plate of cookies and some hand picked home grown flowers from one neighbor. We got phone numbers for our neighbors and even some recommendations regardling local services. We invited the 10 closest neighbors over for our housewarming party. Most of them came, and even one who didn't come brought us over a greeting card and gift card to welcome us. We live in a pretty cool neighborhood.
To say thanks to our neighbors and for fun, we gave mason jars full of a brownie mix to them for Christmas. We got a chance to sit and chat with a couple of them while delivering the jars. And for the new year, one of them gave us a jar of homemade raspberry jam.
We enjoy our house, and this neighborhood really makes this feel like home.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Reluctance to post
There are certain things I'm nervous about letting people know about for various reasons. One of those reasons is that I don't want it to sound like all I do is complain. Another of those reasons is because it's scary sometimes being so open and personal. So, what I do write is not always easy but is in a weird way therapeutic.
I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. I'm still trying to find out what's wrong with me. Physically and mentally and emotionally I'm not feeling right. It's almost a regular thing for me to play this emotionally taxing game called Guess When Your Period Is Coming. It's not like a fun game where you win cool prizes. Rather, the prizes include cramps and mood swings. And while I'm waiting for the game to end, I stress. I usually give in about a week after my period "should" have come and get a pregnancy test. And maybe I schedule a doctor's appointment or contemplate scheduling one to find out what's going on. Or maybe I stress out about ways to reduce my stress levels, stressing that my stress may be causing this. But it is a guarantee that my mind will run wild with worst-case scenarios. Like, "I'll never be able to have kids. I have bad ovaries. Maybe I'm going through pre-menopause already. What if there's something horribly wrong and I'm going to die?"
So, that's part of what's going on with me. And then there's my expectations as to where I should be in life versus where I am. I'm making the same amount (or less)than I was in my last job in Arizona. And that was while I was still in school for my masters degree. I am not living up to my potential. I am grossly over-qualified for my job. And yet, because of this economy, I am unable to even get an interview for the jobs I'm applying for that I am qualified for. It's not like those pay very much, but at least it's a little more than what I'm making right now. And at least the jobs I'm applying for might be challenging and rewarding and fulfilling. Yeah, I'm unhappy with my job. That doesn't help matters.
And there are other things going on, but that's about all I'm comfortable talking about right now. I've realized just how hard it has been for me to move to this state where I really haven't fit in and haven't found the happiness and peace of mind I've been looking for. And everything is wearing on me so much. I don't know how much more I can handle. I'm hoping that one of these days I'll start getting the answers and help I need and job lead that'll take me in the right direction. And here's to hoping that comes before I lose all hope.
I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. I'm still trying to find out what's wrong with me. Physically and mentally and emotionally I'm not feeling right. It's almost a regular thing for me to play this emotionally taxing game called Guess When Your Period Is Coming. It's not like a fun game where you win cool prizes. Rather, the prizes include cramps and mood swings. And while I'm waiting for the game to end, I stress. I usually give in about a week after my period "should" have come and get a pregnancy test. And maybe I schedule a doctor's appointment or contemplate scheduling one to find out what's going on. Or maybe I stress out about ways to reduce my stress levels, stressing that my stress may be causing this. But it is a guarantee that my mind will run wild with worst-case scenarios. Like, "I'll never be able to have kids. I have bad ovaries. Maybe I'm going through pre-menopause already. What if there's something horribly wrong and I'm going to die?"
So, that's part of what's going on with me. And then there's my expectations as to where I should be in life versus where I am. I'm making the same amount (or less)than I was in my last job in Arizona. And that was while I was still in school for my masters degree. I am not living up to my potential. I am grossly over-qualified for my job. And yet, because of this economy, I am unable to even get an interview for the jobs I'm applying for that I am qualified for. It's not like those pay very much, but at least it's a little more than what I'm making right now. And at least the jobs I'm applying for might be challenging and rewarding and fulfilling. Yeah, I'm unhappy with my job. That doesn't help matters.
And there are other things going on, but that's about all I'm comfortable talking about right now. I've realized just how hard it has been for me to move to this state where I really haven't fit in and haven't found the happiness and peace of mind I've been looking for. And everything is wearing on me so much. I don't know how much more I can handle. I'm hoping that one of these days I'll start getting the answers and help I need and job lead that'll take me in the right direction. And here's to hoping that comes before I lose all hope.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Fun on my day off
So today is my first day off in a while. I don't have anything I "have" to do, but I have been productive so far. And I wish I had more time.
I slept in until about 5:15 or so this morning. Yes, that's sleeping in around here. Granted, I always wake up when Joe's getting ready for work in the 3 o'clock hour, but I easily fall back asleep when he leaves until my alarm goes off.
Realizing I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep, I finally got up about 5:30. I wrote in my journal, checked my email, and made some lists of things I could do today. I also watched A Cinderella Story. I love Hilary Duff.
I went to Target, where I stocked up on household necessities like toothpaste, soap, shampoo & conditioner, toilet paper, etc. I also purchased a cheap camp stove so that if we lose power we can still heat up food. And, being proactive, I purchased some fuel for it too. I think if there was going to be a big power outage this year like there was a couple years ago, it probably would've already happened with the big storms we were getting around Christmas. Still, it's best to be prepared. And if I don't use it for that reason, I have something to take camping. Woot! I haven't been camping since I moved up here. I should take a Saturday off and go with Joe when it gets warm outside.
After Target, I went to this store called Shoes & Feet to look for shoe insoles. I got an expensive but nice pair of cross trainers there, and I realized that I need a little more support for the arches of my feet. But with a $60 price tag for the kind I liked, I decided to refrain and see if I could buy something cheaper somewhere else. On my way to another shoe store nearby, I noticed a Payless. I saw some insoles there, but they weren't near the quality that I figured would actually do anything for my arches. Where's Dr. Scholl's? I did, however, find a $10 pair of black tennis shoes (they were on sale). I have been looking for black tennis shoes for some time, so I was happy. I'm even happier that they don't have shoe laces for the kittens to gnaw at.
Next I went to the farmer's market for some zucchini (so I can make chocolate zucchini cake). I picked up a couple bananas while there too, so we can make some more yummy fondue (I have cuties and pineapple and strawberries and apples that need to be eaten!).
And then I went to Fred Meyer, where I spent about $100 on groceries. I saved some money due to sales and coupons they had, and I stocked up on things like $2 boxes of Cinnamon Life cereal and $1 orange juice containers (Joe drinks so much of that stuff!). Exhausted, I came home and put everything away. I realized I was overcharged for a sports bra I picked up at Target, so I'll have to go back there, which is okay, because I want to look for some jeans at a nearby store, and I'm going to check out another shoe store for insoles.
On my possible to-do list as well is walking and/or working out at Curves, donating some items to a local second-hand store, washing some laundry, and getting some birthday cards ready for the mail tomorrow. Plus, I also have on my list taking a nice bath and doing some reading and getting a pedicure. I was going to do that professionally, but I decided to save that money (and I spent plenty today already!) and just use my massaging foot bath and stuff I have here.
Hope you're enjoying your day! I know I am, and I'm not even being as lazy as I was thinking I might be!
I slept in until about 5:15 or so this morning. Yes, that's sleeping in around here. Granted, I always wake up when Joe's getting ready for work in the 3 o'clock hour, but I easily fall back asleep when he leaves until my alarm goes off.
Realizing I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep, I finally got up about 5:30. I wrote in my journal, checked my email, and made some lists of things I could do today. I also watched A Cinderella Story. I love Hilary Duff.
I went to Target, where I stocked up on household necessities like toothpaste, soap, shampoo & conditioner, toilet paper, etc. I also purchased a cheap camp stove so that if we lose power we can still heat up food. And, being proactive, I purchased some fuel for it too. I think if there was going to be a big power outage this year like there was a couple years ago, it probably would've already happened with the big storms we were getting around Christmas. Still, it's best to be prepared. And if I don't use it for that reason, I have something to take camping. Woot! I haven't been camping since I moved up here. I should take a Saturday off and go with Joe when it gets warm outside.
After Target, I went to this store called Shoes & Feet to look for shoe insoles. I got an expensive but nice pair of cross trainers there, and I realized that I need a little more support for the arches of my feet. But with a $60 price tag for the kind I liked, I decided to refrain and see if I could buy something cheaper somewhere else. On my way to another shoe store nearby, I noticed a Payless. I saw some insoles there, but they weren't near the quality that I figured would actually do anything for my arches. Where's Dr. Scholl's? I did, however, find a $10 pair of black tennis shoes (they were on sale). I have been looking for black tennis shoes for some time, so I was happy. I'm even happier that they don't have shoe laces for the kittens to gnaw at.
Next I went to the farmer's market for some zucchini (so I can make chocolate zucchini cake). I picked up a couple bananas while there too, so we can make some more yummy fondue (I have cuties and pineapple and strawberries and apples that need to be eaten!).
And then I went to Fred Meyer, where I spent about $100 on groceries. I saved some money due to sales and coupons they had, and I stocked up on things like $2 boxes of Cinnamon Life cereal and $1 orange juice containers (Joe drinks so much of that stuff!). Exhausted, I came home and put everything away. I realized I was overcharged for a sports bra I picked up at Target, so I'll have to go back there, which is okay, because I want to look for some jeans at a nearby store, and I'm going to check out another shoe store for insoles.
On my possible to-do list as well is walking and/or working out at Curves, donating some items to a local second-hand store, washing some laundry, and getting some birthday cards ready for the mail tomorrow. Plus, I also have on my list taking a nice bath and doing some reading and getting a pedicure. I was going to do that professionally, but I decided to save that money (and I spent plenty today already!) and just use my massaging foot bath and stuff I have here.
Hope you're enjoying your day! I know I am, and I'm not even being as lazy as I was thinking I might be!
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Teacher/Student relations
I've now seen several times (thanks to my Seattle Times RSS feeds) a link to an article letting me know it's okay for teachers in this area to have sex with their 18-year-old students. It's not a felony. Oh, well thank goodness for that!
I remember having an ethics course for my counseling degree where we talked at length about unethical behaviors. It's amazing/frustrating/shocking/whatever to hear that a lot of these behaviors that are such no-no's for counselors are okay for other professions. Or maybe some people who are practicing these things are just unethical.
For example, it's not okay to barter for counseling services. Big no-no. I don't care if you can babysit my kids in exchange for a free counseling session. I can't do it or I could be in SERIOUS trouble. Now, if you want to exchange goods for piano lessons, I'm all ears. :)
Also, it's not okay to have sex with 18-year-old clients. It's not ethical for a therapist to have dual-relationships with clients. That means, as much as someone might need or want it, I CANNOT and WILL NOT counsel someone I'm friends with, someone in my family, or someone I know from other associations (like my plumber or neighbor or whatever). In fact, if I run across a file for someone I know as part of my current job, I'm not even supposed to talk to them about quitting smoking.
In high school, one of my favorite teachers was married to another teacher at our school. I never had her as a teacher, but I heard that they got married after she was a student of his. Did anything inappropriate happen while she was a student? I hope not, but the question is there. It has been there for me and other students like me because of their past. It's not my business (or is it- that's another debate, I suppose), but it's natural to wonder about those things. That's why ethics strongly discourage relationships with anyone you've PREVIOUSLY counselled. Maybe you only met with them once-- it doesn't matter. Imagine that relationship ending badly and then the person trying to say that you acted inappropriately in your professional setting. So, the ethics of relationships with previous clients in the state of Arizona, as I learned it, was no relationships allowed for 5 years after terminating a professional relationship.
If you think all this is unnecessary, just look at the complaints filed against counselors in your state. Many may not be founded on anything, but many are, and that's sad. I previously worked with someone who went on to massage therapy school in another state. The last thing I'd heard about him was that he'd been arrested for inappropriate touching of one of his clients. True? I'm not sure. But it is very possible.
Stick with the teacher/student fantasies if you must.
I remember having an ethics course for my counseling degree where we talked at length about unethical behaviors. It's amazing/frustrating/shocking/whatever to hear that a lot of these behaviors that are such no-no's for counselors are okay for other professions. Or maybe some people who are practicing these things are just unethical.
For example, it's not okay to barter for counseling services. Big no-no. I don't care if you can babysit my kids in exchange for a free counseling session. I can't do it or I could be in SERIOUS trouble. Now, if you want to exchange goods for piano lessons, I'm all ears. :)
Also, it's not okay to have sex with 18-year-old clients. It's not ethical for a therapist to have dual-relationships with clients. That means, as much as someone might need or want it, I CANNOT and WILL NOT counsel someone I'm friends with, someone in my family, or someone I know from other associations (like my plumber or neighbor or whatever). In fact, if I run across a file for someone I know as part of my current job, I'm not even supposed to talk to them about quitting smoking.
In high school, one of my favorite teachers was married to another teacher at our school. I never had her as a teacher, but I heard that they got married after she was a student of his. Did anything inappropriate happen while she was a student? I hope not, but the question is there. It has been there for me and other students like me because of their past. It's not my business (or is it- that's another debate, I suppose), but it's natural to wonder about those things. That's why ethics strongly discourage relationships with anyone you've PREVIOUSLY counselled. Maybe you only met with them once-- it doesn't matter. Imagine that relationship ending badly and then the person trying to say that you acted inappropriately in your professional setting. So, the ethics of relationships with previous clients in the state of Arizona, as I learned it, was no relationships allowed for 5 years after terminating a professional relationship.
If you think all this is unnecessary, just look at the complaints filed against counselors in your state. Many may not be founded on anything, but many are, and that's sad. I previously worked with someone who went on to massage therapy school in another state. The last thing I'd heard about him was that he'd been arrested for inappropriate touching of one of his clients. True? I'm not sure. But it is very possible.
Stick with the teacher/student fantasies if you must.
Monday, January 12, 2009
"What kind of neighborhood do you live in?"
Saturday, I was working and heard a noise outside. Being curious, I looked out the window and saw 2 people riding on a motorcycle on the sidewalk toward my mailbox. They stopped briefly at my mailbox, opened it up, took out my Netflix movie that I was returning, shut my mailbox, and rode off. I tried to get the license plate number, but I couldn't see it at all. And in looking at that, I missed details the police asked me, like what color the bike was, what color their clothes were, and what color their helmets were. I was just in shock that it happened. I had tried to open my window to yell at them, but I didn't even have time to get that open before they were gone.
So, yeah, I called the police. They came and took my statement (I didn't have much to tell) and gave me a case #. I decided to drive around the neighborhood to see if I could find them (I figured it was a very low chance, but I wanted to try, because it didn't seem like the cops would try). So when I got in my car, it was probably about 15 minutes or more since it happened. I stopped when I saw a neighbor's flag up. I figured I should tell them what happened to me so they could check to see if their mail was still in the box. A sweet older woman opened the door and we got to talking. She gave me her name and phone number in case I need anything, and in talking, I found out she was getting rid of some books. She gave them all to me. There are some books I'll give away, but there are at least a few that interest me and maybe even a few that'll interest Joe.
Netflix was cool about the whole thing. I called to report the missing DVD, and they said they weren't going to charge me for the movie. They have already sent a DVD to replace it, which is nice.
I had to stop working early to talk to the cops, but since it didn't take too long to deal with that, it was a nice time to relax before my company's holiday party Saturday night. I went with my friend Stacy and we had a good time. The food was nice and there were some friendly folks at the table.
It was such a weird day. I keep thinking, "Did I really see that, or was it a dream?" I guess it's time to buy a locked mailbox!
So, yeah, I called the police. They came and took my statement (I didn't have much to tell) and gave me a case #. I decided to drive around the neighborhood to see if I could find them (I figured it was a very low chance, but I wanted to try, because it didn't seem like the cops would try). So when I got in my car, it was probably about 15 minutes or more since it happened. I stopped when I saw a neighbor's flag up. I figured I should tell them what happened to me so they could check to see if their mail was still in the box. A sweet older woman opened the door and we got to talking. She gave me her name and phone number in case I need anything, and in talking, I found out she was getting rid of some books. She gave them all to me. There are some books I'll give away, but there are at least a few that interest me and maybe even a few that'll interest Joe.
Netflix was cool about the whole thing. I called to report the missing DVD, and they said they weren't going to charge me for the movie. They have already sent a DVD to replace it, which is nice.
I had to stop working early to talk to the cops, but since it didn't take too long to deal with that, it was a nice time to relax before my company's holiday party Saturday night. I went with my friend Stacy and we had a good time. The food was nice and there were some friendly folks at the table.
It was such a weird day. I keep thinking, "Did I really see that, or was it a dream?" I guess it's time to buy a locked mailbox!
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Things I've done
Here's a list of things you may or may not have done. Bold those answers that apply to you and repost.
1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/world
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch-hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal in a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Gotten flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets, or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a lawsuit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/world
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch-hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal in a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Gotten flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets, or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a lawsuit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)